Lately I've been negative and I don't like it. Sure, I'm exhausted, fed up, stressed, worried, maybe even unhappy. Every once in a while, like all of us (I hope), I get into these slumps. I'm pretty sure I have reasonable cause. I have a lot on my plate, but what I sometimes fail to remind myself is that it's all by choice. Some aren't so lucky. This recent shift in my psyche is due to nothing more than my own failings. One failing, really. I've been failing to see the good stuff.
So today, on my way home from yet another day where I failed to stop and appreciate something, anything about my life, I looked for the first beautiful thing I could find... Kudzu? Not this time of year. Abandoned trailers? Negative. The log truck I was stuck behind? No, all that managed to evoke were scenes from Final Destination.
The leaves? Yes.
Luckily it has been warm enough down here that the leaves are only just now starting to fall. Gorgeous hues of orange, auburn, red, even violet still grace the trees that line the rugged two-lane road I travel every day. Today I noticed them for the first time. My 45-minute commute usually feels like five... five short minutes filled with thoughts from my day, a game plan for work in the evening, concerns about certain students, parents, administrators... and oh yeah, the graduate course work that I've placed beyond the back burner. It is becoming unhealthy.
I pulled over. Just stopped. I rested my chin on the steering wheel and stared, trying to count every single color I could find in those LEAVES! Six. I counted six different colors. Magnificent.
Those two minutes felt like an eternity, but before I knew it my practical side began taking back over. I realized it probably wasn't safe to sit on the side of a narrow country road with a shoulder barely wide enough to host my little two-door Honda. My practical side tried to say that it was foolish to waste time, foolish to pull over, foolish to think that something like counting leaves would actually do me any good. Don't worry, my passionate side won. It did a world of good. I started to laugh at my own insanity. Who does this?? An outsider would've thought I was a mad person. But the truth is... if I don't do things like that from time to time... that's mad.
So today, on my way home from yet another day where I failed to stop and appreciate something, anything about my life, I looked for the first beautiful thing I could find... Kudzu? Not this time of year. Abandoned trailers? Negative. The log truck I was stuck behind? No, all that managed to evoke were scenes from Final Destination.
The leaves? Yes.
Luckily it has been warm enough down here that the leaves are only just now starting to fall. Gorgeous hues of orange, auburn, red, even violet still grace the trees that line the rugged two-lane road I travel every day. Today I noticed them for the first time. My 45-minute commute usually feels like five... five short minutes filled with thoughts from my day, a game plan for work in the evening, concerns about certain students, parents, administrators... and oh yeah, the graduate course work that I've placed beyond the back burner. It is becoming unhealthy.
I pulled over. Just stopped. I rested my chin on the steering wheel and stared, trying to count every single color I could find in those LEAVES! Six. I counted six different colors. Magnificent.
Those two minutes felt like an eternity, but before I knew it my practical side began taking back over. I realized it probably wasn't safe to sit on the side of a narrow country road with a shoulder barely wide enough to host my little two-door Honda. My practical side tried to say that it was foolish to waste time, foolish to pull over, foolish to think that something like counting leaves would actually do me any good. Don't worry, my passionate side won. It did a world of good. I started to laugh at my own insanity. Who does this?? An outsider would've thought I was a mad person. But the truth is... if I don't do things like that from time to time... that's mad.
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| I took this picture with my phone tonight... Mississippi has some of the most beautiful sunsets I've seen. |
No one who ever did anything worthwhile was free from madness. You will be better because of those leaves and all of the moments you look for them again. You give up enough of yourself each day; the least you can do is spend fifteen minutes relishing pure, unrestrained goodness. Chin up, buddy. You never know what you will see.
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