It's that time of year. No... not the holidays. It's that time when teachers get to work when it's dark and leave when it's darker. Last year we were warned about this time of year. They told us our students would start testing the boundaries a little more, they'd get a little lazier... we'd get a little lazier. So after a Monday-Tuesday combination that drained me mentally and indecisive weather that's draining me physically, I took the day off.
I woke up to the incessant blaring of an alarm that even I can't oversleep. I let my hand slam the snooze button - a practice I repeat at least five times every morning - and the siren was pleasantly replaced by the sound of rain pounding the roof. Decision made. I rolled over, squinting through eyes dried by contacts I failed to take out the night before, and texted my principal. Guilt immediately washed over me. I wasn't too sick to go into school and, having started a new unit on Monday, it probably wasn't great timing. But there was that grade level meeting I wasn't prepared for.. and that baby shower after school for a teacher I don't really know... and basketball practice until 5:30... and an away game tomorrow... I let the sound of the rain take back over. I turned on my side, rolled myself up into a ball, and didn't open my eyes again until 9:30 when the rain had subsided and sunlight leaked in through the blinds.
I've always said it would be a waste to miss a day of work to do nothing. I've said I'd rather go to school on the verge of death than spend a day getting further behind for no good reason. I've missed school to go home to Ohio. I've missed school for workshops. I've missed school to go see Bill Clinton in the Grove. But never to do nothing.
I climbed out of bed and opened my closet door planning to grab some clothes and head to the coffee shop. I had planned on sitting there all day reading, curled up in a comfy leather chair, observing the comings and goings of college kids and business professionals... reminding myself what this town used to be like when I was able to frequent it during the week. Instead my eyes dropped to the floor, zeroing in on a basket overflowing with laundry I was too busy do over the weekend. I stuffed stray shirt sleeves and pant legs into the sides and lugged it downstairs. After I started the first load (and it would come to take 3) I walked into the kitchen deciding to make breakfast. The kitchen was a disaster zone. I guess I'll clean.
By 11:30 I had made the kitchen sparkle, I had mopped, I had scrubbed the half bathroom, dusted the bookshelf, folded a load of laundry and had two more going. My friend texted me asking why she saw my car still parked when she drove by this morning. We decided to grab lunch at the Greek restaurant we used to enjoy before practice in college. Sitting there in sweat pants with my hair in a messy bun - the ultimate deja vu - we laughed about the conversations we used have during lunch... I don't want to go to practice... We're gonna get our butts kicked... I can't stand out there for 4 hours and do drills again today... I can't wait until I have a normal day job... Dude, we used to have it so good!
I hung around the house for the rest of the day. I folded the rest of my laundry and made a small dent in the book I've been trying to read for weeks. I didn't open my computer and I kept myself from thinking about school. I know that when I go back tomorrow I'll be greeted with a messy classroom that the substitute didn't bother to manage and the frustrations I felt on Monday and Tuesday will not have disappeared. But what will be different is how I approach those frustrations. I realized while sitting at lunch that I have recently been entering dangerous territory. I've been thinking more and more about what my next step will be. I've been obsessing over my future and reminiscing about my past. Occasionally I do small things to enjoy the present, but I really don't appreciate things as much as I should. I guess it's unfair to say that I missed a day of school for nothing. I got a clean house and a much needed reality check out of it. So today I'm thankful for rain pattering on the roof, Greek food, laundry, and Pacal.
I woke up to the incessant blaring of an alarm that even I can't oversleep. I let my hand slam the snooze button - a practice I repeat at least five times every morning - and the siren was pleasantly replaced by the sound of rain pounding the roof. Decision made. I rolled over, squinting through eyes dried by contacts I failed to take out the night before, and texted my principal. Guilt immediately washed over me. I wasn't too sick to go into school and, having started a new unit on Monday, it probably wasn't great timing. But there was that grade level meeting I wasn't prepared for.. and that baby shower after school for a teacher I don't really know... and basketball practice until 5:30... and an away game tomorrow... I let the sound of the rain take back over. I turned on my side, rolled myself up into a ball, and didn't open my eyes again until 9:30 when the rain had subsided and sunlight leaked in through the blinds.
I've always said it would be a waste to miss a day of work to do nothing. I've said I'd rather go to school on the verge of death than spend a day getting further behind for no good reason. I've missed school to go home to Ohio. I've missed school for workshops. I've missed school to go see Bill Clinton in the Grove. But never to do nothing.
I climbed out of bed and opened my closet door planning to grab some clothes and head to the coffee shop. I had planned on sitting there all day reading, curled up in a comfy leather chair, observing the comings and goings of college kids and business professionals... reminding myself what this town used to be like when I was able to frequent it during the week. Instead my eyes dropped to the floor, zeroing in on a basket overflowing with laundry I was too busy do over the weekend. I stuffed stray shirt sleeves and pant legs into the sides and lugged it downstairs. After I started the first load (and it would come to take 3) I walked into the kitchen deciding to make breakfast. The kitchen was a disaster zone. I guess I'll clean.
By 11:30 I had made the kitchen sparkle, I had mopped, I had scrubbed the half bathroom, dusted the bookshelf, folded a load of laundry and had two more going. My friend texted me asking why she saw my car still parked when she drove by this morning. We decided to grab lunch at the Greek restaurant we used to enjoy before practice in college. Sitting there in sweat pants with my hair in a messy bun - the ultimate deja vu - we laughed about the conversations we used have during lunch... I don't want to go to practice... We're gonna get our butts kicked... I can't stand out there for 4 hours and do drills again today... I can't wait until I have a normal day job... Dude, we used to have it so good!
I hung around the house for the rest of the day. I folded the rest of my laundry and made a small dent in the book I've been trying to read for weeks. I didn't open my computer and I kept myself from thinking about school. I know that when I go back tomorrow I'll be greeted with a messy classroom that the substitute didn't bother to manage and the frustrations I felt on Monday and Tuesday will not have disappeared. But what will be different is how I approach those frustrations. I realized while sitting at lunch that I have recently been entering dangerous territory. I've been thinking more and more about what my next step will be. I've been obsessing over my future and reminiscing about my past. Occasionally I do small things to enjoy the present, but I really don't appreciate things as much as I should. I guess it's unfair to say that I missed a day of school for nothing. I got a clean house and a much needed reality check out of it. So today I'm thankful for rain pattering on the roof, Greek food, laundry, and Pacal.
You're human. :) Hope today was better.
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